How to Get the Most out of Counselling 

I’ve worked with adults, teens, and children, and I believe that counselling has benefits no matter our stage of life. The common misconception is that counselling is only needed when things get critical. Counselling is definitely important in such cases. What’s also true is that counselling can have profound and even preventive effects when issues, be it anxiety, relationship issues or childhood trauma, are addressed early. Understanding our thoughts, emotions and behaviours makes us more likely to achieve our goals and flourish. How can you get the most out of counselling? Read on for tips.

The secret is in slowing down

It’s very common to want to share as much as possible during the session. It’s natural when you have a million and one thoughts on your mind. I can’t stress this enough. Learning to slow down is essential – and that is one of the things I help you with. By slowing down, we can better understand your challenges and make space for valuable insights. Remember that counsellors and therapists are not here to make important decisions for you. Instead, learning about yourself by exploring your needs and wants can give clarity that leads you to make conclusions that serve your well-being.

Identify your deeper reasons for therapy

I’ve been told by clients who are having counselling for the first time that they feel better getting things off their chest. While having a listening ear can be therapeutic, knowing your deeper reasons for coming to therapy is so essential in making the most of the time together. Sometimes, it takes time to know your goals and that is okay. Therapy is a collaborative process, and my role is to help you identify goals that matter to you. 

Change doesn’t happen overnight

If you are aiming for lasting change, know that it will not happen overnight. You might learn some skills to attend to your nervous system and you will be encouraged to practise skills. Working at a pace that doesn’t overwhelm you is key.

Some sessions are going to be hard

Therapy is a safe space to take a small step past the edge of your comfort zone to grow it. That said, it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to see unhelpful thinking patterns for what they are. You might learn to sit through difficult feelings. If you want to get the most out of counselling, know that the hard sessions pave the way for breakthroughs.

Being real with yourself and your therapist is crucial

Identifying your goals is the first step if you want to get the most out of counselling. Therapy requires an investment of time and finances. If your counsellor does not know the truth about the situations you are facing, you might not see the returns you really want from investing your time, effort and finances. It’s not easy to be vulnerable, but it is when we are honest and open that real change can occur. Remember that almost everything you say, your therapist has heard before. 

Not all sessions come with a breakthrough 

I saw the Chinese movie YOLO recently. I felt inspired by her dedication to training herself as a boxer. Some training sessions were hard. Some of them were smooth-going for her. When training the body, you won’t see the changes day by day until suddenly you notice the change in the shape of your arms. Likewise, in the therapy room, we don’t see the effects immediately. The process of therapy is cumulative. 

Find the right therapist for you 

Last but not least, I recommend doing your research to find the right fit so that you can get the most out of counselling. While therapists have different modalities that help you with what you are dealing with, research has shown that the therapeutic relationship plays the most crucial role in therapy success. Whether you are new to therapy or not, find someone who makes you feel safe and accepted.
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